You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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