If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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