and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
