the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
