i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I party with great urgency now.
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