Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
