There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
