Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
