Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have post one night stand depression
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
