you traded sex for a burrito?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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