when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
