Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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