i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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