the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
