just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
