I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
