Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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