you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
