One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
