When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
