but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
