Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
