im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
