i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
