i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
