No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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