you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
