my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and she was petting her beer can
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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