I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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