In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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