I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
