We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
