Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
