the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
