And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
