i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
