just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
