Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Semen is not good for contacts.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
