lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
