I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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