I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
