2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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