I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Panties = found
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
