yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
