playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We need to rekindle our bromance
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
