he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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