he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need a beard to bite.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
