Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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