Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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