I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
