i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
