You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
