it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
